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“I'd grown up in church and decided at 18 that I needed to find myself apart from my parents and any church.” She wrestled with her faith as most young adults do, and she found herself conflicted between how she was on Sunday and how she acted the rest of the week. I had my church friends and my world friends, and I thought I'd die if the two ever met.” Audrey says she was tired of “trying” to be a Christian and thought she should focus on being herself… “I knew I wasn't supposed to fornicate but I was rejecting what I had been taught to believe.
“I felt like I'd been some hypocrite, thinking one way and acting another,” she confesses. So I did.” It didn’t take long for Audrey to develop a damaging identity.
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Hurt happened, and it hurt more than it should have.” After getting her heart broken enough times, Audrey began searching for a lasting love.
I'd have a date, then expect too much, give too much and be right back in the hole I was in before. The statistics supported my unbelief.” To help boost her chances at finding true love, Audrey tried Internet dating for a while. She picked up the pieces once again and jumped back into the dating game, but this time, she was determined to do it God’s way.
She met plenty of guys but none of them seemed to work out except for one – the one Audrey calls “Ishmael.” “Everything seemed to be just right except for the gnawing thought in my brain that this wasn't the fit God had in mind,” she explains. “I had given up on ‘illegal sex’ 'cause that had brought me nothing but grief.
“After the first date, I came home, called my mother and told her that I'd had dinner with my husband,” Audrey recalls. That was a big test because my mother is very discerning.” Not about to mess around this time, Audrey put Fred through the test. He was scrutinized by anyone who was important in my life. Just a few days after her 38th birthday, her dreams had come true, and her prayers were finally answered.
“I went through all the necessary checks and balances. People who I trusted and who knew the Lord gave the OK.” By June they were engaged and by November 2004, Audrey and Fred became Mr. “I had prayed that I would someday marry my best friend, and this guy was an answer to prayer,” she says.
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Yet Audrey fell prey to the deceptive nature of “casual” sex.