Dating game music cues

" If you answer these questions sincerely and still want to date him, you then face the problem of making it happen - or rather, making him make it happen. They fall outside of the predator-prey model for sexual interactions that is assumed in the "don't initiate contact" rule.

So it is acceptable for you to initiate with a shy guy. The problem with male shyness is that it wears off in specific situations.

Of course, he will question this over and over in his mind, wondering whether you were asking him to hang out just to be friends, or if you wanted something more.

So show him that you want something more - ask repeatedly.

The first thing to do when you find yourself attracted to a shy man is to question your feelings for him.

In other words, ask yourself "Am I attracted in spite of or because of his shyness? A very close friend of mine is extremely shy, and I know plenty of other guys that are shy. Shy guys, almost by definition, do not have the balls to initiate and pursue women.

You will probably get frustrated at his lack of response to your initiatives.

A post I made about why women shouldn't take the initiative in relationships evoked some questions about how to deal with shy men - after all, shy men don't chase women, and are unlikely to initiate anything.

In general, you will need to carry the relationship up until the point that it is "official." When it has been established (or is otherwise clear) that the two of you are together, then you should start reducing your initiative and letting him take the reins.

As I said, he will probably start to do this on his own anyway, so rather than forcing it, just be cognizant of the transition.

The reason for this is that shy men are more concerned with avoiding the social catastrophe of asking you out and failing than they are of getting you.

This is what prevents them from taking the initiative in the first place.

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